Juilliard Meets Seasame Street

And what's the deal with people who sing unnecessarily well? My son has this phonics video with some Ella Fitzgerald-wannabe singing to a Muppet-knock off named Ed like it's the freakin Metropolitan Opera House. And I'm like, "Hey, Celine, you wanna back it off a little? I can see you passed Vibrato 101 with flying colors, but com'on, it's the 'Alphabet Song.'"

Introduction

I, as many of you, consider the "Airing of Grievences" to be the most satisfying tenet of Festivus. The problem is I have a lot of grievences that can't wait that long. Fortunately, I have found a loophole which will allow us to celebrate Festivus All Year. Consider the following passage from the Festivus Book:

Under the Seinfeld orthodoxy, Festivus is not over until the head of the household is wrestled to the floor and pinned.

Therefore, in order to extend the Airing of Grievences year-round, I will not perform any feats of strength on this site. (If you would like me to beat you up in person, email me. We'll work something out.)


All that being said, I will use this space to let you know what is bothering me.